Grudge | A Poem

cloudy snowy day, trees in winter

 

  Grudge

The monster creeps in unnoticed

He wraps his long fingers around your arm

And you are powerless to stop the anger

 

You feel the bile rise in your stomach

The boiling begins

You taste it in your throat

 

Before you know it

The monster speaks for you

Words cutting like whips

 

The tears fall and last words are heard

Doors slam and silence ensues

The monster now controls you all

 

The phone silent mocks you

The monster joins in

He repeats words said

 

He keeps replaying the scene in your mind

Even as you get into bed

He assures you your words were right

 

So you listen to the monster

Shutting out the animal of reason

The bird of reality flies by

 

Years later the monster’s fingers lose grip

What were the words again

What was it that was so upsetting

 

Without the monster it’s hard to remember

When you stop being angry it’s hard to remember

When you pry away the grudge’s fingers

There was nothing there after all

I tried to write/format this poem to where the stanzas looked like monster fingers. What do you think??

Today’s prompt for NaBloPoMo is: If you could permanently get rid of one worry, what would it be?

Wow! That is really hard because I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder and I worry over tons of stuff every day. And I can’t help it, and I can’t make it stop. I can’t cut triggers out or avoid the problem because I get anxious over every thing that could affect me or my family. I worry about: if my trees are going to survive the winter, if I have taught my son enough social skills, about the US Economy, how I am going to get through college, are there enough missionaries in Asia, and what should I cook for dinner tonight? And that’s just what goes through my head before I drop off my son at school. If I could permanently fix my brain so that I did not worry about 1 thing ever again, I guess I would pick…. yeah I can’t pick. They all seem large and important and if I don’t worry will I ever fix everything? Will I ever be good enough? Will I ever change anything for the better if I am not concerned enough to act? If I let go of a worry like “Is my church group doing enough?” or “Do I know enough about foreign politics?” or “Whose pictures should hang in the living room?” will I be able to be a good person?

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